the word of the week for me has been uncertainty.
it's popular, i know. because, fact is, there just isn't a whole lot of certain out there, is there? i really have no idea what tomorrow will be like. or the next day or the next.
and what i discovered this week is that i was beginning to open a rather fear induced door that had big, life-altering uncertainties written all over it. you see, as it turns out, the uncertainty my family faces right now is a little bigger than whether or not it might rain tomorrow or what the coffee of the day flavor will be or who will be voted off survivor.
and i suppose this uncertainty about the future has me a little rattled because, quite frankly, i've gotten comfortable. i've gotten comfortable in my little life in my little house with my little routine and my little plans and a few hopes and dreams that i keep comfortably tucked away in my little mind.
blah. blah. blah. kind of boring, isn't it?
why is it that the unknown is so scary? we see people all the time who stay in horribly damaging relationships or situations because they are terrified of leaving what they "know". it's the ridiculous idea that "what i know might be bad, but what i don't know could be worse".
really??? what an utterly awful way to think!
and, yet, i have been thinking a bit just like this.
stepping into the unknown requires faith. truly letting go. it requires sacrifice and risk and the abandonment of expectations. other than one: anticipate GOOD. expect it.
the fact that God is for us should empower us to be more bold, to step out with a bit more excitement and to grin big in this anticipation.
i may not know what is around the corner for us or down the road or where we will be or what we'll be doing. what i do know is this:
FOR I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU, DECLARES THE LORD, PLANS TO PROSPER YOU AND NOT TO HARM YOU, PLANS TO GIVE YOU HOPE AND A FUTURE. jeremiah 29:11
that is what i'm holding onto. that is what i am putting my faith in. this road we are on has been fraught with obstacles and discouragements and days have been long and hard and yet, God has shown up again and again and again and given us the strength and the courage and the determination to keep walking forward, step by step, to something He is calling us to.
and if i am really honest with myself, what i am really afraid of is not losing my silly comfortable life, but rather that i would hang onto those unimportant things so tightly that i might miss the adventure God has in mind for me.
so, i'm throwing out uncertainty. i really have no use for it right now. it's there, i accept that. whatever.
what i'm celebrating tonight is the gift of anticipation. joyful anticipation. if God has His hand on it, it's gonna be good. you can bet on it.